Posts
2 years ago
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Wow...
After many fits and starts, I *finally* learned how to use this mesh yarn I have - Sashay from Red Heart. Ignore their video at the Redheart site, as the crocheting is done *off camera* for some reason. They sure didnt put much thought into it. A better place to learn how to do it is at www.simpleandsensational.com . Free membership, plus lots of interesting stuff there!
test? this is only a test...
My dashboard is gone - nothing up at the top to click on to post a new post, so this is a test. I googled "blogger" and got this link http://beta.blogger.com/blog-this.g Gee I hope they're not tweaking it AGAIN. I liked it the way it was in the first place!
On another note - how do you know you're ready to have children? After all, it is an 18+ year commitment, so in order for you to be properly prepared to handle kids, I give you this 14-point test.
Test 1: Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3: Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5: Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6: Going For a Walk
1. Wait.
2. Go out the front door.
3. Come back in again.
4. Go out.
5. Come back in again.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10: TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11: Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room & leave them there.
Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each 'Mummy'. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13: Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
Now go have fun!
On another note - how do you know you're ready to have children? After all, it is an 18+ year commitment, so in order for you to be properly prepared to handle kids, I give you this 14-point test.
Test 1: Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3: Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.
Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5: Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6: Going For a Walk
1. Wait.
2. Go out the front door.
3. Come back in again.
4. Go out.
5. Come back in again.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10: TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11: Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room & leave them there.
Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each 'Mummy'. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13: Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
Now go have fun!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Blind Dog
Well, our small fat, watermelon-shaped dog lost a lot of weight, so I took him to the vets - turns out the poor thing has diabetes. I get to give him insulin injections 2x a day, plus he has special food. Turns out he's gotten cataracts that came on very quickly too, so he's unable to see. When he has to go out to potty, I snap my fingers low along in front of him to show him where he can safely walk without running into stuff.
From everything I've read, dogs will adapt to being blind, varying from a short time to up to three months.
For exercise I am going to take him on a walk a couple times a day - which is good for me also.
Hubby was all for "one shot - either me or the doc" fix for Rocket, but I nixed that - I said that if Rocket was put down, then I'd bring home the baby kitten that was for free at the vet's office. LOL that went over like a lead balloon!
Here is what is happening in our county:
The 2012 Bay City Bull Blast will be held October 20th at 7pm. The Bull Blast is presented by the Matagorda County Fair Association. This year they will feature 30 Championship Bull Riders, Mutton Bustin' and Junior Steer Saddling.
With your ticket purchase you'll also have the opportunity to dance to the sounds of the Sour Mash Band that starts playing at 9pm.
For ticket information call 979-245-2454 or visit www.matagordacountyfair.com. Adult tickets are $15 in advance - $18 at the door. Children tickets $7 in advance $10 at the door.
If you've never seen Mutton Bustin', you're missing out on a treat! It's where the kids (usually 60 lbs and under) get on a sheep, and ride.
That idiot that was saying he was going to kill schoolkids and stuff a couple of years ago - here is some new info on him. Turns out the guy was a SUBSTITUTE TEACHER also!
PAUL MAY ELIGIBLE FOR PAROLE
Paul Nolan May, the individual convicted of making terroristic threats against our children and teachers is eligible for parole. Just weeks ago May plead guilty to 12 counts of terroristic threat. He was sentenced to 7 years in prison. Due to his receiving time served credit for his time spent in county jail awaiting trial, Paul May is already being considered for parole.
At the time of his crime the Bay City community pulled together, living in fear, yet refusing to let a terrorist win. Many children continued to attend school even though there had been multiple threats, bomb threats, and the distraction of national news media invading the campus.
Paul May's parole is not automatic. Paul Nolan May will have to appear before the Parole Board who will also consider the input from victims and people of the community. The board wants to hear from citizens and they've made it easy to contact them. You can fax, email or snail mail the Parole Board about this individual. Be sure to include his name and State ID Number in your communication.
Paul Nolan May State ID# 08763442;
Send your email to tamara.stockton@tdcj.state.tx.us
Snail mail:
TDCJ, Victim Services Division
8712 Shoal Creek Blvd, Ste. 265
Austin, Texas 78757-6899
Or Fax: 512-452-0825
From everything I've read, dogs will adapt to being blind, varying from a short time to up to three months.
For exercise I am going to take him on a walk a couple times a day - which is good for me also.
Hubby was all for "one shot - either me or the doc" fix for Rocket, but I nixed that - I said that if Rocket was put down, then I'd bring home the baby kitten that was for free at the vet's office. LOL that went over like a lead balloon!
Here is what is happening in our county:
The 2012 Bay City Bull Blast will be held October 20th at 7pm. The Bull Blast is presented by the Matagorda County Fair Association. This year they will feature 30 Championship Bull Riders, Mutton Bustin' and Junior Steer Saddling.
With your ticket purchase you'll also have the opportunity to dance to the sounds of the Sour Mash Band that starts playing at 9pm.
For ticket information call 979-245-2454 or visit www.matagordacountyfair.com. Adult tickets are $15 in advance - $18 at the door. Children tickets $7 in advance $10 at the door.
If you've never seen Mutton Bustin', you're missing out on a treat! It's where the kids (usually 60 lbs and under) get on a sheep, and ride.
That idiot that was saying he was going to kill schoolkids and stuff a couple of years ago - here is some new info on him. Turns out the guy was a SUBSTITUTE TEACHER also!
PAUL MAY ELIGIBLE FOR PAROLE
Paul Nolan May, the individual convicted of making terroristic threats against our children and teachers is eligible for parole. Just weeks ago May plead guilty to 12 counts of terroristic threat. He was sentenced to 7 years in prison. Due to his receiving time served credit for his time spent in county jail awaiting trial, Paul May is already being considered for parole.
At the time of his crime the Bay City community pulled together, living in fear, yet refusing to let a terrorist win. Many children continued to attend school even though there had been multiple threats, bomb threats, and the distraction of national news media invading the campus.
Paul May's parole is not automatic. Paul Nolan May will have to appear before the Parole Board who will also consider the input from victims and people of the community. The board wants to hear from citizens and they've made it easy to contact them. You can fax, email or snail mail the Parole Board about this individual. Be sure to include his name and State ID Number in your communication.
Paul Nolan May State ID# 08763442;
Send your email to tamara.stockton@tdcj.state.tx.us
Snail mail:
TDCJ, Victim Services Division
8712 Shoal Creek Blvd, Ste. 265
Austin, Texas 78757-6899
Or Fax: 512-452-0825
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